Advice from Some Old Dick at the Bar
8 THINGS TO FIX IF YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO BE A FUCKING HAPPY HUMAN
Listen up. You’re miserable because you’re weak, you’re lazy, and you’ve spent your whole life coddling your own ego. You’re standing in the middle of a burning building wondering why it’s so goddamn hot. It’s because you’re the one holding the matches. If you want to stop sucking at life, shut up and fix these eight things right fucking now.
1. Stop Getting Fucking Offended
Turn Offense into Empathy
Grow some thicker skin, for fuck's sake. Every time you get your feelings hurt because someone said something you didn't like, you’re handing them the keys to your brain. You’re a puppet. Stop crying about what people say and realize they’re probably just as miserable and fucked up as you are. Have some empathy for their ignorance instead of acting like a fragile little victim.
2. Stop Shit Talking, Especially Yourself!
Replace Negativity with Positivity
I hear the way you talk to yourself, and it’s pathetic. If you had a friend who talked to you the way your internal monologue does, you’d have punched them in the face years ago. You’re the only person you’re stuck with 24/7—stop being such a colossal dick to yourself and start acting like you’re on your own side.
3. Stop Being a Fucking Complainer!
Motion Brings Emotion
Nobody gives a shit about your excuses. "It’s too hard, I’m tired, I don't feel like it." Shut the fuck up. Complaining is just the sound of your own failure leaking out of your mouth. You want to feel better? Move. Do something. Anything. Action creates the mood; the mood doesn’t create the action. Get off your ass and the mind will follow.
4. Stop Worrying About Everything
Newsflash: It doesn't help. You're just sabotaging yourself.
Worrying is just betting against yourself and hoping you lose. You’re literally sitting there masturbating to your own failure. How the hell does that help you win? It doesn’t. It’s mental sabotage, plain and simple. Focus on what’s right in front of your face and stop pissing away your energy on "what-ifs" that haven't happened yet.
5. Overthinking
If you can overthink negative shit then why can't you overthink positive shit?
You’ve got enough brainpower to invent a thousand ways things could go wrong, but you can’t find one single way they could go right? That’s just lazy. If you’re going to be obsessed, be obsessed with winning. If you’re going to overthink, overthink the greatness you’re capable of. Use that hardware for something that actually produces a result.
6. Stop Assuming the Worst About People
The world’s a good fucking place with some good fucking people.
Yeah, you’ve been burned. Get over it. If you walk around thinking everyone is out to screw you, you’ve already lost. There are good people out there doing good shit every single day, and you're missing out because you're hiding behind a wall of cynicism. Stop being a coward and start assuming the best in people until they give you a reason not to.
7. Stop Letting a Religion Dictate Your Life
There are over 4,000 active religions—it’s just random geography, dude.
Wake the hell up. You’re following a script written by people who didn't even know what a germ was. There are thousands of these things, and you think yours is the "special" one? It’s pure luck of the draw based on where your mother happened to drop you. Stop letting arbitrary rules from another century keep you from being a decent, free-thinking human being today.
8. Stop Sweating the Small Stuff
Newsflash: It’s all small stuff.
You’re losing your mind over a minor inconvenience while the clock is ticking down on your life. In the grand scheme of things, none of this petty bullshit matters. The traffic, the weather, the rude email—it’s all noise. It’s all small stuff. Focus on the big picture, keep your eyes on the finish line, and stop letting the little things trip you up.
Get to Know Quinn
I’m the author of “8 Ways to Be Happy” and if you want to learn how to regulate your emotional state from someone besides some old dick in a pub than buy my book and get your shit straight. You can get it and my two other books on my website, Let’s connect!
