Uncle Quinn's Bathroom Book
Read an Essay Every Time You Take a Shit and You'll Be Smarter in 30 Days
College, smollage who needs that when you’ve got Uncle Quinn’s Bathroom Book….. 30 carefully curated essays that you can read while you’re taking care of business! You’ll get an education in just 30 days and go from doing #2 to the being #1 most interesting person at cocktail parties!
Just imagine being able to talk intelligently and effortlessly! Tell good stories, understand other people’s stories and drop the knowledge you learned while dropping a duece! It’s a Win Quinn situation!
Without futher ado, I’ll get away from the poo-poo and dump the first 15 essays on you…we’re about to take this shit to a whole ‘nother level!
Smiling From a "Dangerous World"
I’m sitting here in Egypt, and my phone starts buzzing with "concerns." It’s usually someone from back home asking if I’m "staying safe" over here in the "third world."
How the Islamic Golden Age Shaped the West
The House of Wisdom: The Arabic Bridge to the American Experiment
What Would Happen if a Nuke Hit London? According to a Guy Named Gary That I Met in a Pub
Look, pull up a chair. If you’re reading this while tucked into a corner of some overpriced gastropub, I’ve got some news that’s gonna make your "organic" cider taste like battery acid. We’re talking about what happens when the fucking bomb blows up in your face. No sugar-coating, no scientific fluff—just a tiered audit of who gets deleted first.
The Conundrum of Parenting
As the father of eight children, I can tell you that the "conundrum of parenting" isn't a theory—it’s a daily confrontation. When you have eight sets of eyes watching you, you aren't just running a household; you’re running a social experiment where the stakes are your own ego versus their future.
10 Things that are free in other countries but cost thousands in America
In most of the developed world, things like education and basic survival are treated as the floor—the foundation that allows a society to actually function. In America, we’ve turned that floor into a series of trap doors.
If People Don’t Like You, That’s Okay. If Animals Don’t Like You, It’s Time for Some Self-Reflection
Congratulations. You’ve officially reached a level of toxicity that even a creature that licks its own butt for fun finds "a bit much."
Hey, Be Nice to My Friend! (And You're My Friend)
The Cellular Science of Why Your Self-Talk is Actually Bio-Chemical Architecture
The Crisco Crime: How Trash Became Dinner
You guys want to hear a horror story? Everyone’s heard of Batman, but let me tell you about the Vat Man. Because while the caped crusader is out there fighting imaginary goons, the Vat Man is the reason we’ve been getting fucked over in our own kitchens for a hundred years.
The Power of the Tongue
Listen up. Your head is a biological masterpiece, but it’s also a design flaw waiting to happen.
Meeting Abigal
I saw a house on my walk and for some reason it struck me…. I imagined who lived in such a beautiful place? What was their story…
The Heart of the Matter
Have you ever walked through your house and tripped over the same uneven floorboard for twenty years? Eventually, you stop even noticing it. You just learn to hop over it. You might even tell your kids, "Watch out for that spot," as if it’s just a law of nature that the floor has to be broken.
Did You Know That Ben Franklin Wrote an Essay on Farting?
Gather 'round, history buffs and gas enthusiasts alike, because it is time to clear the air about one of America’s most "fragrant" Founding Fathers. While most people remember Benjamin Franklin for flying a kite in a thunderstorm or appearing on the hundred-dollar bill, they often omit his most "moving" contribution to the world of science. In 1781, wh…
Advice from Some Old Dick at the Bar
8 THINGS TO FIX IF YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO BE A FUCKING HAPPY HUMAN
The Matriarchal Society Where Men Wear the Veils!
Did you know that while the rest of the world has spent centuries arguing over who gets to wear the pants, the Tuareg people of the Sahara were busy perfecting a much more interesting fashion statement? Specifically, they are one of the few cultures on Earth where the men are the ones rocking the veils.